This Side of Heaven

Trust in the Lord and lean not
To your own understanding
Acknowledge Him and
He will direct your path


Trusting shouldn’t be difficult
I can handle it – right
No – wrong

Heart-wrenching sobs
Should not emanate from
A trusting soul
Should they


Can a mother stand by
Watch her son agonize
And not react

I give advice
Trust the Lord
I say
But do I trust
I sob in the night
And in the day

Because the struggle
Never ends because
Disaster follows
Disaster
Leading to
More disaster

I believe God cares
That He intervenes
That He hears my cry
And my son’s cries
Yet the breakthrough
Has not happened
Not yet

I will never give up
Or quit caring
And I may never
Stop weeping
This side of Heaven

I will keep hoping
Praying
For victory
for him
Deliverance
From addiction
And all its entanglements
This side of Heaven

By Carol Ann Hoel © December 1, 2010

I Thessalonians 5:17 – Pray without ceasing.

About Carol Ann Hoel

The new me - Carol Ann. More suitably said, the old me in new circumstances of life. Again. My history has developed in parts and chapters. In person, I am Wife, Mom, Grandma, Author, and Writer, in that order, more or less. Life is good because God is good.
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8 Responses to This Side of Heaven

  1. Chloe says:

    Hi Carol – wow, this is so heartfelt, it’s stopped me in my tracks. I wish there was some comfort I could offer to you – all I can really say is that I am sure that Heavenly Father will hear your prayer..there is a time for everything, right, including healing/deliverance? I am sure the Lord will bless you and your son with joy.

    Thinking of you my friend xx

    Like

    • Yes, Chloe, there is a time, somewhere, sometime, when I believe it will happen. I am not always plagued with sorrow. There are seasons when my son carries on his life outside my knowledge. But when his pain causes him to call on me, I find it difficult to pull away from the awfulness. As you say, there is a time for everything. God has not turned away His face, and I must trust Him even if I trust and weep, too. Perhaps mothers do both.

      Thank you for stopping and commenting. Blessings to you…

      Like

  2. trisha says:

    a very touching poem carol. we do cry, even after having full faith on God. These are tears of pain i guess, not of despair.
    lots of love.

    Like

    • Aw, thank you, Trisha. Tears of pain and not despair. So sweetly expressed and I think it’s true. One would have to be almost crude not to shed a tear when a loved one suffers. Thank you for your kind comment. Blessings to you always…

      Like

  3. Trisha says:

    when a loved one suffers tears come to eyes by themselves, even when we know that God is watching over both of us.
    lots of love.

    Like

  4. When a loved one is wandering from the path we feel so helpless. God tells us to bring our burdens and lay them at his feet. And we do… but somehow we feel we must pick them up again and take them away with us as we continue the journey. Sometimes I think I cry over my own helplessness, my own weakness and inability to fully trust, more than I cry for the one who has chosen the dangerous path. It’s hard.

    Blessings to you.

    Like

    • Thank you for your comforting words. I can see God’s hand in my son’s life, but when he’s hurting, I’m hurting, too. I know you understand. The LORD has reached out to my son again and provided shelter and food for a time. I praise God for his redemptive love. I long for the victory to show itself in full bloom. Waiting, waiting… I may have to wait until eternity, I know. Blessings to you, Carol…

      Like

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