Friday evening after dinner, my husband seemed to be asleep sitting up in his hospital bed, but his demeanor was strange. I ignored it for a little while, but when it didn’t change, I was sure something was wrong. I called Hospice and described what I saw, and the nurse instructed me to call 911.
I thought I might lose my husband before the night was over, but I prayed that I would be blessed to receive him back home alive and restored. I believed that either he had or was going to have a seizure, based on his fixed, unnatural countenance. Then I saw that his left eye was drooping, as was the left corner of his mouth. I recognized these symptoms as characteristic of a stroke. I checked his left arm, which is the arm that still worked. His stroke in July of 2011 affected his right side, leaving his left side still functional. Now his left arm was limp, as though it were disconnected from his body. His first massive stroke last July arrived on the wings of his first seizure.
Today Johannes is back in his own bed; in fact, he came home the same evening. His face does not droop. His arm is not limp, and it is as strong as it was before this event. The assumed cause of the matter the doctor says was a probable seizure and/or a TIA, something less than a stroke, that may lead to a stroke.
God is merciful and gracious. He knows my frailty. I see the signs of my husband’s deliverance coming. (I hate death and try to focus on the bright side of it – his deliverance.) Maybe I am being prepared gradually for my loss.
I try not to think very much about my future, not that I expect a bad one, but I don’t want to become less interested in caring for my husband with my mind focused on the next chapter of my life. This season requires all the strength I have, and without passion, I doubt that I could do it. When I catch myself wondering about tomorrow, I remind myself that today has enough trouble of its own, as the Bible says. We are promised grace for today. Tomorrow will have its measure of grace when it comes.
I thank you all who have kept us in your prayers. It makes a difference. I believe someday we will all know exactly how much a difference our prayers for one another made as we journeyed here on planet earth. We’ll have lots of stuff to talk about while we explore the beauties of eternity in Heaven with our Lord.
Matthew 6:34 – The Bible (KJV) – Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.