Be my Valentine – I heard someone say –
Spoken another way – Be mine today –
Jesus came calling someone to believe –
Someone to receive eternal life from Him -
Any day – Jesus will change a heart
Willing to trust in Him – Who gave Himself
For us – taking away our sin –
Freeing us joyously to flee to Him

Be my Savior and Lord today –
Take away my stains – Give me
Your holy righteousness instead –
A heart’s cry never to be denied

By Carol Ann Hoel © February 14, 2012

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John 3:16 – The Bible (KJV) – For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Mini Meal for Johannes and Me

Here is my INSTANT version of stuffed peppers! In other times, I used fresh onions and garlic, and often fresh herbs. And, I made a sauce of my own rather than using canned juice. Now, I use dried herbs and dried onions, which saves time and limits work. Shaking little containers of spices and herbs into the meat is easy and turns out a delicious meal. If you don’t care for spices or can’t use them, your instant stuffed peppers will take even less time. God made peppers and ground beef full of flavor of their own. No help needed.

Green Peppers:
1.  Remove stems from peppers. (I used one pepper. Ha!) Cut peppers in half and clean out seeds.
2.  Boil a pan of water large enough to cover the peppers. Do not overfill the water with peppers.
3.  Plunge the peppers into the boiling water, in batches, if necessary, for 3 or 4 minutes each.
4.  Pour V-8 or tomato juice in the bottom of baking dish large enough to hold peppers. Reserve some juice for a finishing touch.
5.  Place parboiled peppers into baking dish.

Watching Netflix on computer while working.

Hamburger Mixture:
1.  Place in a bowl as much hamburger as you wish. (I used about 2/3 of a pound, very small amount.)
2.  Shake in thyme, sage, oregano, basil, rosemary, salt, and pepper, to taste. (I used only a few shakes.)
(Herbs and spices are optional. Substitute any that you like or use none.)
3.  Add dried minced onion. (I used about a tablespoon for my mini meal.)
4.  Add a squirt of ketchup or Worcestershire sauce, to taste, more or less, as preferred. (I used ketchup.)
5.  Add one egg (or two, or three, according to amount of hamburger). (I used one egg.)
6.  Add a small amount of oats, or bread crumbs, or rice, or crushed crackers, or whatever. (I used about a tablespoon of rolled oats.)
7.  Mix well.

Finishing:
Fill peppers with hamburger mixture. Pour a small stream of V-8 or tomato juice over top of stuffed peppers. Bake at 350 degrees F. for 55 – 60 minutes, or until meat is brown and juice is bubbling.

Enjoy.

First challenge: I didn’t have bread crumbs. I really wish I’d have omitted this step. BUT, I  had some fancy bread that I sliced, chopped, and put into the food processor. As I scooped up the chopped bread, I threw some on the floor. Not to worry. I went on and processed the rest of it. Then, as I tossed it from the processor bowl into the pan of melted butter, I lost more, spilling it on the stove top and again on the floor. I gathered as much as possible off the stove top and put it in the pan, and swept the rest from the floor and put it in the trash. My few salvaged bread crumbs were swimming in too much butter. With a prayer for blessing, I continued undaunted.

Next it was time to pop the layers into the baking dish. I went right along quickly spreading each layer, bread crumbs and butter last, thinking all was well. BUT, the bowl of milk and eggs was still sitting on the counter top. Oh well. I poured the milk and egg over the top of my pitiful layer of home-made bread crumbs. Was my macaroni and cheese doomed to failure? Good question.

Yes, it was doomed to failure. (Laugh here. I did.) The bread crumb layer with the milk and eggs made a glaze (a glaze from the bottomless pit, I might add), which became hard as it baked. HARD! After removing the top layer of beautifully browned bread crumbs and butter, the underside was delicious. Okay. Edible.

My husband, speechless, watched curiously as I separated the attractive top layer from the rest, placing spoonfuls of the soft underside on his plate. Silently, I looked toward Heaven as though to ask, Lord, where were you tonight? I think He laughed. He was there alright. As always. Faithful and true. Laughing with us.

One more thing you should know, if you want to fully appreciate this story. I made a double batch!

“I’m not ready today, LORD. Please, let me keep my hubby another day.” I know He’ll answer that with prayer yes until the day He answers it with no.  Then I’ll crumble and shrink into depths of sorrow. Just as well I know that I’ll recover from it and wait for God to reveal the next season of my life. How do I know? I just know. God is faithful. He’s scooped me up in His love out of my grief before, and He will do it again.

But if not, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego once said to a pagan king when commanded to disobey God, “…our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king. But if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods….” I’ll keep believing and waiting for Jesus to lift me up. Big talk, right? A vow I cannot keep without God’s presence and provision, but He’ll be there. He was there for Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in a big and showy way. He may be there for me in a quiet whisper, but He’ll be there.

So how’s it been going day by day, this journey? My hubby has endured two more seizures within a few days of one another. The Hospice doctor increased his seizure medication. The seizures have changed his sleep patterns and other significant features of his illness. Alzheimer’s continues to deprive him more and more of awareness of surroundings. I have less of my hubby’s former persona to cling to, but cling I shall.

I try to develop a routine around his sleeping habits, but this is not likely to happen. Routine seems out of grasp. Two, three, four days pass and something happens to change the circumstances. Unpredictable is the best description of my day-to-day life, based on my husband’s day-to-day needs. Yet there are constants, too, like Hospice staff faithfully standing by, directing, helping, and encouraging. And there is Jesus. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. Always Jesus. Powerful and present.

By Carol Ann Hoel © January 16, 2012

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Matthew 6: 26-34 – The Bible (KJV) – Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought, saying, what shall we eat? Or, What shall we drink? Or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

From friendly skies to hostile terrains -
From familiar scenery to bizarre situations -
From well lighted pathway to obscure passages –
Yet LORD – You’re here – We’re not alone –

I feel blind – scattered – shattered –
Free falling through outer space –
Trusting – maybe – hoping – yes –
Like a cat feels having a bath

I’d never known what I know now
Any other way – How
You give Your strength for asking –
I’ve not been this weak before

I needed to be reminded – LORD –
Why You had to die – to redeem me –
How awful my behavior can be -
Yet – grace is mine – and free

By Carol Ann Hoel © December 27, 2011

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Romans 5:1-8 - The Bible (KJV) – Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ: By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die: yet peradventure for a good man some would even dare to die. But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.

Philippians 4:13 – The Bible (KJV) – I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

You say – come up higher my child -

By Carol Ann Hoel © November 5, 2011

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Hosea 13:14 – The Bible (KJV) – I will ransom them from the power of the grave; I will redeem them from death: O death, I will be thy plagues; O grave, I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hid from mine eyes.

Psalm 23 – The Bible (KJV) - The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Matthew 26:31-32 – The Bible (KJV) – Then saith Jesus unto them, all ye shall be offended because of me this night: for it is written, I will smite the shepherd, and the sheep of the flock shall be scattered abroad. But after I am risen again, I will go before you into Galilee.

Thank you for insight I think I have -

By Carol Ann Hoel © October 23, 2011

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James 5:10-11 – The Bible (KJV) – Take, my brethren, the prophets, who have spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience. Behold, we count them happy which endure. Ye have heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord; that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy.

By Carol Ann Hoel © October 15, 2011

Hebrews 13:5 – The Bible (KJV) – Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

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I have no reason to believe that my hubby is about to leave me to be with Jesus. I have no assurance that he will stay here longer either. One day he seems strong and healthy; the next he seems weak and distant. I’m not ready to let him go. I’m thankful he’s here with me.

I’m getting better at being a 24-hour caregiver. I still have lots to learn, and I make mistakes.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. Blessings to you all.

Another season of our lives – LORD –

By Carol Ann Hoel © September 19, 2011

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Mark 4:35-41 – The Bible (KJV) – And the same day, when the even was come, he saith unto them, Let us pass over unto the other side. And when they had sent away the multitude, they took him even as he was in the ship. And there were also with him other little ships. And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full. And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish? And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm. And he said unto them, why are ye so fearful? How is it that ye have no faith? And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, what manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?

I miss writing blog posts and reading them and commenting. I haven’t abandoned my blog. Please, don’t think so. I’m in training as caregiver, laundry maid, cook, dishwasher, housekeeper, activity director, sanitation inspector, lift operator, calendar coordinator of home health staff, procurement specialist of medical supplies, and wife. The faster I learn to combine all these into one super position, the sooner I’ll have time to blog. I’m having fun. Don’t feel sorry for me. As long as my hubby’s health holds up, I’m smiling.

I’m making headway. When I find a way to get 6 to 7 hours of sleep at night, I’ll be ready to blog. Not uninterrupted sleep. My hubby must be checked, his position changed, and his clothing and bedding refreshed once or twice during my sleeping hours. At first, I didn’t think I could do it, but I can. It is getting easier. I wake up without an alarm. I perform all those duties without disturbing my husband. Well, yes, I do disturb him, but he doesn’t wake up. Really. He never opens his eyes. Smooth. I’m an expert at being ignored.

God provided me with a new friend. She joined me in my chariot of fire for the five weeks that my husband was in the facility, and she continues to help me at home. She has had CNA training (certified nursing assistant). She is a wonderful help to me and a dear friend. God is good! Praises to Jehovah Jireh, our Provider!

Thank you all for your prayers and kind comments. I hope to add blogging to my days again very soon. Blessings to you all…